Related Articles
- Why Developing Decision-Making Skills at a Young Age Is Important
- Having Effective Conversations With Your Teen About Substance Misuse
- 9 Positive Parenting Techniques That Will Strengthen Your Relationship With Your Child
As soon as children begin interacting with others, they learn about communication, listening, and decision-making. As a parent or guardian, it’s important to guide your children through these skills to support healthy development. Here are some reasons why you should help your child develop interpersonal skills.
Healthy relationships
As children master language and nonverbal cues, they also need to learn how to use them appropriately and honestly. These skills are the foundation of building healthy relationships, which have lasting positive effects on overall well-being. Healthy relationships inspire growth and helpful behaviors.
Good communication in relationships involves careful listening, considerate decision-making and negotiation, and understanding the best ways to use words and actions to express feelings and beliefs. You can help children practice these skills by modeling openness and awareness in your relationship with them.
How Parents Can Help:
- Model Active Listening: When your child speaks, give them your full attention, nod to show you understand, and repeat what they’ve said to confirm. For example, “I hear that you’re upset because your friend didn’t share the toy. Let’s talk about how to handle that.”
- Teach “I” Statements: Encourage your child to use statements like, “I feel upset when…” instead of blaming language like “You make me so mad.” This promotes accountability and reduces conflict.
- Practice Empathy: Use everyday situations to help your child understand other people’s feelings. For instance, if they see someone crying, ask, “How do you think they’re feeling? What could we do to help?”
Boundary building
Younger children first learn boundaries through physical space, and as they age, they learn how verbal and nonverbal communication add to ideas about spaces and limits.
To begin setting boundaries for themselves, children need to develop healthy assertiveness and not be ridiculed for doing so. An assertive child should be able to stand up for themself and be clear in expressing their needs without being deemed “bossy.” With the right amount of assertiveness, a child can reject situations that aren’t in line with their beliefs and participate in activities that serve their well-being instead.
How Parents Can Help:
- Role-Playing: Use role-play to teach children how to set boundaries politely but firmly. For example, practice saying, “I don’t want to share my toy right now, but you can play with it later.”
- Teach Consent Early: Explain that everyone has the right to say “yes” or “no” to activities, and this decision should be respected. For instance, ask for their consent before hugging them to model the concept of personal boundaries.
- Set Family Examples: Demonstrate boundary-setting by showing how adults in the family handle similar situations. For example, “I can’t help you right now because I’m working, but I’ll be available in 30 minutes.”
Development of self
Children improve their understanding of themselves by interacting with others in healthy, peaceful ways. They develop this through recognizing that the world has many perspectives — not just their own.
Developing a reflective, broader perspective requires maturity, so this is something you’ll need to guide your children through. Provide safe, nonjudgmental ways to view conversations and situations through different perspectives.
How Parents Can Help:
- Encourage Reflection: After a social interaction, ask questions like, “Why do you think your friend acted that way? How did you feel about it?” This helps children consider different viewpoints.
- Expose Them to Diversity: Introduce your child to different cultures, traditions, and perspectives through books, movies, or community events. This broadens their understanding and builds empathy.
- Journaling or Art: Encourage your child to express their thoughts and emotions through journaling or art. This helps them explore their identity and emotions in a safe space.
Parental Strategies for Encouraging Interpersonal Skills
Understanding the importance of interpersonal skills is just the first step. As a parent or guardian, actively fostering these skills in your child can make a significant difference in their development. Here are practical strategies you can implement:
How Parents Can Help:
- Create Opportunities for Social Interaction: Encourage your child to participate in group activities such as sports teams, clubs, or community service projects. These settings allow them to practice communication, teamwork, and conflict resolution in real-life scenarios.
- Encourage Team-Based Games and Activities: Engage in family games or tasks that require cooperation. Activities like building a puzzle together, playing cooperative board games, or organizing a family event can strengthen interpersonal skills.
- Model Positive Behavior: Children learn by observing adults. Demonstrate effective communication by actively listening when they speak, showing empathy towards others, and managing conflicts calmly.
- Teach Emotional Intelligence: Help your child recognize and label their emotions. Discuss different feelings and appropriate ways to express them. For example, use statements like, “It’s okay to feel angry, but let’s talk about it instead of shouting.”
- Promote Problem-Solving Skills: When your child faces a challenge, guide them through identifying the problem, brainstorming solutions, and evaluating the outcomes. This fosters independent thinking and effective communication.
- Set Clear Expectations and Boundaries: Establish family rules that promote respect and kindness. Consistency in enforcing these rules helps children understand the importance of respecting others’ boundaries as well as their own.
- Positive Reinforcement: Acknowledge and praise your child when they display good interpersonal skills. For instance, commend them when they share with others or resolve a conflict peacefully.
- Discuss Real-Life Scenarios: Use everyday situations or stories from books and movies to talk about interpersonal dynamics. Ask questions like, “What could the character have done differently?” to encourage critical thinking about relationships.
- Encourage Empathy Through Volunteering: Participating in community service can help your child understand and appreciate different perspectives and the importance of helping others.
Drug prevention
Children who don’t have well-developed interpersonal skills are at risk for turning to drug or alcohol use. They may not be able to reject harmful activities (like drinking at a party) or may learn to use substances as a solution to conflicts that can be resolved with open communication, listening, and appropriate compromise.
Children learn strategies and skills that help them avoid substance use from the people around them. As an important part of your child’s social support system, make sure you understand your child’s strengths, and be ready to address any concerns.
How Parents Can Help:
- Teach Refusal Skills: Role-play scenarios where your child may need to say “no” to risky behaviors. Equip them with specific phrases like, “No thanks, I don’t want to get in trouble,” or “I don’t do that.”
- Foster Problem-Solving: Teach children alternative ways to handle stress, such as talking to a trusted adult, taking deep breaths, or finding healthy outlets like sports or hobbies.
- Monitor Influences: Stay aware of the people and media influencing your child. Discuss what they watch, read, or listen to and talk about the consequences of risky behavior.
Mental and emotional wellbeing
If your child develops strong interpersonal skills, that doesn’t mean they won’t face challenges, but they will be able to regulate the emotions that come with them. Emotional regulation has life-long effects, and good communication and thoughtful decision-making improve the practice, allowing children to form better, empathetic bonds with others — and themselves.
How Parents Can Help:
- Practice Emotional Labeling: Teach children to name their emotions by asking, “Are you feeling sad, angry, or frustrated?” This makes emotions less overwhelming and easier to manage.
- Encourage Mindfulness: Introduce simple mindfulness practices like deep breathing or counting to 10 during moments of frustration.
- Model Self-Care: Show your child that taking breaks, relaxing, and prioritizing mental health are essential. For example, explain why you take a walk after a busy day.
- Celebrate Progress: Acknowledge your child’s efforts in managing their emotions or handling a tough situation. For example, “I’m proud of how you stayed calm when your plans changed.”
Children will benefit in many aspects of their lives by recognizing their need for self-care and emotional well-being.